More couples than ever are choosing engagement rings together. It makes sense—buying something you’ll wear for a lifetime is a big decision, and collaborating means you’ll get a ring you truly love.
But here’s the challenge: how do you design a ring together without losing that magic, heart-stopping moment when it’s finally placed on your finger?
It’s about balance—keeping the romance while still making informed, confident choices.
Step 1: Decide How Much Input You Want
Not every couple needs to go deep into the design process together. Some want to agree on a general direction—stone shape, metal colour, setting style—and leave the rest as a surprise. Others want to be involved in every detail.
Talk openly about how much say each person wants. Sometimes the best approach is for the wearer to guide style preferences while the proposer takes the lead on the final selection.
Step 2: Focus on the Big Decisions First
When shopping or designing together, start with the elements that will have the most impact on the finished look:
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Gemstone choice – Australian sapphire, diamond, or something else entirely.
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Shape – Round, oval, freeform, emerald cut, etc.
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Setting style – Prong, bezel, halo, or unique custom design.
Once you’ve narrowed these down, the rest—such as finer design details—can be left in the hands of the proposer and jeweller to finalise.
Step 3: Keep Some Mystery
Even if you’re designing together, leave one or two elements unknown. That could be the exact stone chosen, a hidden design detail inside the band, or the timing of when the ring will be presented.
At Laher, we often help proposers add small, unexpected touches—like an engraved message or a unique side stone pairing—that keep the final reveal special.
Step 4: Make Use of Digital Design
For bespoke rings, digital renders or CAD designs are a game changer. You can review proportions, settings, and stone shapes without ever seeing the final stone. This way, you get to approve the general design but still be surprised by the actual ring on the day.
Step 5: Agree on the Budget Early
Talking about money isn’t the most romantic step, but it prevents awkwardness later. Decide on a budget range that works for both of you, keeping in mind that stone quality, size, and design complexity will all influence the final price.
Step 6: Let the Jeweller be Your Co-Conspirator
A good jeweller doesn’t just make the ring—they help manage the surprise. We regularly work with couples to design a piece in stages, allowing one partner to step back before the final details are locked in. That way, the ring is both collaborative and unexpected.
Collaboration Without Compromise
Choosing an engagement ring together doesn’t mean giving up the magic—it just changes it. Instead of one big reveal, you get to share in the excitement of creating something meaningful from the ground up.
And when that moment finally arrives, the surprise isn’t what the ring looks like—it’s seeing it for the first time on your hand, knowing it’s yours, and knowing you designed it together.